We all carry unresolved trauma. As we’ve seen, it’s not necessarily the severity of the event itself but our response to it that determines the imprint it makes…..When we do the work of resolving trauma. we can become more resilient. In fact, these experiences can become catalysts for profound transformation. -Dr. Nicole LaPera
I have been saying this for years now as I have personally witnessed this in my own life and then went on to research more about trauma in the body. I was locked up in a freeze response from a traumatic event that become my catalyst to heal. I’ve been on this healing ever since and consider it my life’s work to help others heal from their traumas. I spoke about my journey and how trauma is stored in the body in this episode “Trauma, Bodily Wisdom and Nonlinear Movement with Michaela Boehm” on The Sure Babe Podcast.
In chapter 3 the author Dr. Nicole LePera invites us to learn about dissociate, the real meaning of trauma, childhood modeling and conditioning and how we were affected by all of it. It can be heavy to look back at these memories and discover they weren’t all full of love or that they were lacking in some way. It can be especially painful if they were filled with abuse. Be gentle with yourself as you dive into this chapter and go deeper journalling. Take time to breath and ground yourself in the present moment and remind yourself that “if you can feel it, you can heal it”.
I host a 6 week online group called “Creating Your Calm” . In this group I go deeper into the ways we are traumatized and how we store this in our bodies and most importantly how we release trauma and anxiety from our bodies. I’ll be launching this group again in May so click HERE if interested in reserving a spot and use code: EARLYBIRDBOOKCLUBER for 15% off.
- Dissociation is a coping mechanism of physical and mental disconnection from our environment in response to consistent stress or overwhelm. Because of this a person can be physically present yet mental gone. I believe we all dissociate at times to receive stress, pain, overwhelming emotions or trauma. When and how did you dissociate in the past?
- Trauma is often a misunderstood concept yet in this chapter Dr. La Pera points out that trauma is an unavoidable thing in life and that childhood trauma can look childhood anxiety and or fears that you ruminate on. Trauma is in the body and stored in the body….”Just because my mind wasn’t present to what was unfolding around me doesn’t mean that my body doesn’t remember.” What hidden or not hidden traumas do you remember from childhood and how did you escape them? What did your “spaceship” look like?
- If you are a person from a marginalized group or BIPOC how did and does the systems of oppression affect you? I am not a person of color however I grew up in a religious family that attended church multiple times a week. Being a part of this community was great however the church believed only men could speak and lead in the church. I was wounded by this idea and internalized the feeling of being less then. I overcompensated by becoming a person who strives to have her voice heard and often times does not know how to tell myself “I’ve done enough”. Striving became a way of life for me after being told in so many ways my voice was not important.
- What modeling did your parents display that might have contributed to the conditioning to your subconscious beliefs?
- The archetypes of childhood trauma: Having a parent who denies your reality, having a parent who does not see or hear you, having a parent who vicariously lives through you or molds and shapes you, having a parent who does not model boundaries, having a parent who is over focused on appearance, having a parent who cannot regulate their emotions….what percentage of each of these showed up in your caregivers parenting when you were a child?
- What maladaptive coping skills do you tend to use: People pleasing, anger or rage, and or dissociation? If you did not use these maladaptive coping skills how else could you meed your physical, emotional, and spiritual wants and needs?
- How did you feel after answering the “Do The Work” questions at the end of this chapter on identifying your childhood wounds?
Hope you’re loving this book as much as me!
With hope & healing,