Coming out Feminist

Something shifted in me when Roe vs. Wade was overturned. I’ve never had an abortion nor would it be my first choice for an unwanted pregnancy but that does not give me the right to legislate another woman’s body. I remember being a 13 year old female growing up in the 90’s purity culture and hearing that my 17 year old cousin was pregnant. She went to a Christian school, had SEX and got pregnant. It didn’t compute for me because I was under the impression only married people could “do it”. This hit way too close to home and as I watched her endure shame from conservative “Christians”  around her, it was enough to traumatize me. I’m so glad she had her baby because we got another family member to love.  Her daughter now has 4 boys of her own, 2 of which are my boys’ ages. As a teen girl I distinctly remember fearing getting pregnant from being raped or from swimming in a pool (I was very uneducated in reproduction)… I literally thought that sperm was in community used bodies of water. So in my mind if I went swimming with a boy, a free range sperm might just fertilize one of my harmless eggs. I struggled with the thought about what I would do if I got pregnant? Would I abort the baby? Give it up for adoption? Or would I give up my education and career goals to raise it myself? These thoughts traumatized me and I felt shame even though I hadn’t even kissed a boy yet. But at least I knew I had the choice. I had rights to my body if I was ever raped or found myself in my cousins situation.

Here’s the thing, I believe in the sanctity of life- babies lives and mother’s lives. I am pro choice and pro life. I am for empathy and love, not laws and shame that cause a woman to enter into forced motherhood.

The overturning of Roe is so much more than abortion. It’s about autonomy and equality for women. If a woman does not have free will she is not equal member of society. Click HERE to watch a short reel from @crossculturechristian that sums up how I feel as a Christ follower who is not celebrate the overturning of Row vs. Wade.

I’m going to quote April Davis of The Vagina Blog because her sentiments reflect mine as well.

I’m going to get really vulnerable with you all right now – I don’t like abortion. It’s not a fun topic. It’s divisive and hard to talk about and we all have a lot of feelings about it. This is how we ended up here. It’s time to figure out how to talk about it or we won’t ever move forward.

Abortion is healthcare. I can’t even count how many women I know that have benefitted from being able to terminate a pregnancy in one way or another to save their life. Miscarriages don’t always pass on their own. Ectopic pregnancies happen. Young teen pregnancies happen. And as a person that suffered horribly with hyperemesis gravidarum in a country where so many don’t have access or limited access to healthcare, I can’t be quiet. Abortion has to be an option.

Please contact your people. Take a hard look at your own views. Realize this ruling can have ripple effects into contraception access, IVF and fertility procedures and so much more. This is a scary step backwards.

I’ve sat with my female clients and friends who have had to terminate pregnancy for many reasons. I’ve processed this trauma with many of them. It’s a trauma no matter what the woman decides and the trauma is only worsened if the woman is not given a choice.

This choice is unthinkable but it should be HER choice not the government’s. So that’s why I’m using my voice. To amplify the women’s voices in the states that are taking away their reproductive rights. I march to take the power away from systems and give it back to women. Should we have more support for pregnant women? YES! Should we have more support for mothers? YES! So much in our country needs to change but overturning Roe vs. Wade is not the way.

I march for women that don’t have rights to their bodies, women that feel shame over their bodies and women that are too scared to share their voice. I am a Christ follower who loves people enough to give them autonomy over their bodies.

A couple years ago I went to a woman’s march in downtown San Diego after Trump was elected. I wanted to go take photos because I knew it would be a historic event and honestly I wanted to be apart of this group of unashamed women but I wasn’t there yet in my deconstruction journey. Heck I had voted for Trump thinking that he was the most moral candidate (wow how I couldn’t have been more wrong).

Today I road my bike with my daughter in tow to the Women’s March in downtown Oceanside with tears in my eyes because I was finally letting myself be who I’ve always wanted to be, a bad ass Jesus Loving FEMINIST!

Coming out Feminist

 

Coming out Feminist

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Coming out Feminist

I was shocked to see an old friend who grew up in the same super fundamentalist church that I grew up in. We both shared stories of coming out as a feminist while keeping our faith in tacked.

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

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Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

This man was so sweet. He was passing out tracks about the gospel and was the only religious person among many at the pier that didn’t judge us. We had a great conversation and I got to explain to him that “I’m not for abortion and I’m not against abortion, but I’m for a woman’s right to choose because that is the most loving option. That my faith in Jesus allows me to see that I don’t need to push my believes on everyone and that in fact women’s rights are human rights. He was sweet and gentle and agreed that it was more nuanced than what the other religious folks were screaming at us. He also wanted to make sure his picture wasn’t going up on an abortion blog ha ha. I said no just my personal blog about life, family, mental health and female issues. 😉

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

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I wanted to hug all these men who showed up to support women!

Coming out Feminist

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Coming out Feminist

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Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

Coming out Feminist

 

Thank you to all who came out to March for women’s autonomy! Thank you for reading this with an open mind. Even if you don’t agree with my views, thank you for respecting them. One of the biggest healing moments for me has been fully embracing the fact that I don’t need the approval of others in order to change my views and to have the beliefs I now have. No one can tell you who you are but God/The Divine. It’s so freeing and beautiful it makes me want to cry. My connection to God and humanity is much more loving and kind now that I set down my dichotomous thinking. The world, life, humans and women’s rights are NOT black and white….there is so much grey. Let’s accept that the grey is actually part of God’s plan. We can hold space for the grey with a delicate posture of love and empathy because someone else’s story is never how we imagine it.

I just imagine Jesus right now and how he loves all of us so much. When I imagine Jesus I imagine him now like the short, toned Jewish carpenter from the movie “The Shack”. I also view God like Octavia Spencer and The Holy Spirit like a beautiful Asian woman and it’s helped me feel much closer to the Divine. I know these are also just constructs of our imagination but seriously who wouldn’t want to be held and fed by Octavia Spencer? The very thought makes me feel enraptured in love.

As a mother I hate when my children fight and call each other names, it breaks my heart because I see the bigger picture of who they are. I think God is like that, a mother that created each one of us, a mother who’s heart is breaking because she is holding the teen girl that just got pregnant from a rape in Alabama, a mother who is comforting the woman traumatized by the loss of the baby she so desperately wanted, a mother holding space for the woman who doesn’t know if she will be able to get the birth control she needs and a mother who wants to protect all the souls that are affected by unwanted and complicated pregnancy. Jesus was gentle with women. He knew they were disempowered in culture and society…. I mean look how he protected the “woman at the well”. She needed water and he gave her water that never runs dry and told her to go home and sin no more. He didn’t judge her and call her a harlot for her way of life because maybe he understood that her situation was more complicated than just being an adulterous.

At this time in history maybe we should all be more like that. Quick to listen not judge. Hold our tongue when we want to tell someone our opinion of them. Ask questions instead of hurl insults. Walk around in someone else’s shoes instead of thinking we know what is best for them. If we could do that, think of how we could change our country for the better. We need unity, love and empathy now more than ever. Let’s rise up and do that!

If you want more information on Women’s Marches in your area click HERE.

 

Sending you love, healing and hope,

Chrissy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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