I went to bed last night feeling all sorts of emotions and they all came out today in the car while driving the coast and belting out “I am Moana” with my kids.
The lightbulb went off and I realized that every time a season ends my heart feels heavy and I have to process all the thoughts good and bad without judgment.
It was quite idyllic driving home today from the beach with my sandy boys. We all sang the lyrics to “I am Moana” at the top of our lungs and my eyes welled up with tears…good ones but tears none the less. It was one of those moments that I wanted to live in forever. I was happy, full, not needing or wanting more and I knew it pass too soon. I had found that sweet spot of contentment with my salty hair, sandy body and my boys in the back of the car… I wanted to freeze time.
So when the tears came it was my signal that I needed to check in with my heart and the answer was clear: Waylon starts Kindergarten in 10 days and Zeke will be 2 in a month. Change is knocking at the door of my heart and I have to let her in. I have to be okay with it, I can’t wish it away or prevent her from entering… I have to embrace her in all her unknowingness.
I’m a planner to the core, so not knowing what our routine will look like or how the next year will be makes me come undone a bit, but I love adventure and trying new things. So change must become my friend and I have to trust that no knowing things is okay. I love my life I love being a mother its the best gift I’ve ever been given. Which is why this video I shot with Rais Case and Motion Distillery will be a momento I cherish forever. Long live summer and freezing those really good moments in life.