Our family is growing as well as my belly and there’s going to be a baby! Yep baby Powers #2 is due August 29th. I wanted to title this post “fear and loathing in the first trimester” since I’ve felt like a zombie the last couple months. We’ve been preparing Waylon to become a big brother by reading him this book, “There’s Going To Be A Baby” by John Burningham and Helen Oxenbury. He calls it the baby book, it’s pretty cute if you haven’t already read it.
We found out the week before Christmas that we were expecting so it was an even merrier holiday sharing the news with family. But once the holiday fun died down my HCG hormones amped up and the last month I’ve had the emotional regulation of a 4 year old with constant nausea and exhaustion. I mean I cried and gagged when I saw a hair ball in the parking lot of the Sprouts and anything remotely heart-warming has me in tears. I’m not complaining because carrying life is a gift I don’t take for granted, but man is it hard. I’ve felt like a faction of myself, able to accomplish less then half what I would normal get done in a day. Acceptance is the only way to get through this stage and hoping for the silver lining of the second trimester.
The fear of something going wrong has also weighed heavy on my mind this time around. I think fear of miscarriage is always there in every pregnant woman. However with this pregnancy, I have had moments of being paralyzed in fear and panic that I might lose this baby that it’s been hard to rejoice in the joy of actually being pregnant. I’ve hit the 10 week mark and am focusing on the fact that I’m not in control, that this baby will be on this earth when and how God calls him or her to be. That doesn’t mean that I’m without fear but just increasing my faith.
So it’s with great joy and faith that we can say “there’s going to be a baby”!