Have you heard of “emotional agility“? If not I’m about to blow your mind…. no really I can remember exactly where I was the first time I learned that I didn’t have to believe and / or react to my emotions. The idea that we can change our behavior simply (but yet not so simply) by choosing to think about our emotions differently is a comforting thought that offers hope. For most of my 20’s I lived according to my emotions and kept ending up in ditches, not literally but you know what I mean. I felt stuck, like I wasn’t living the way I was meant to live. So when I heard Susan David, Ph.D. speak about her research on emotional agility I knew I had to sit down with my good friend Dr. Cassidy Freitas.
In episode 6 of the “Sure, Babe” podcast Dr. Cassidy Freitas MFT and I discuss what it’s like to combine our creative and professional pursuits and talk a whole lot all about this thing called “emotional agility“. Cassidy shares her wisdom from years practicing thearpy and teaching… she also shares openly about situaions in her own life in which she practices emotional agility to overcome overwhelming emotions. The knowledge in this episode will revolutionize your life and relationships! Click HERE to listen.
In Susan David’s words here is a more detailed description about this topic….
“The way we navigate our inner world – our everyday thoughts, emotions, and self-stories – is the single most important determinant of our life success. It drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health; everything. For example: Do we let our self-doubts, failings, shame, fear, or anger hold us back? Can we be determined, persevering toward key life goals, but just as importantly, have the insight and courage to recognize when these goals are not serving us, and adapt?
In EMOTIONAL AGILITY: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, Susan David, Ph.D. a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement, draws on her more than twenty years of research to show that emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is they know how to gain critical insight about situations and interactions from their feelings, and use this knowledge to adapt, align their values and actions, and make changes to bring the best of themselves forward.
Emotional agility is a process that enables us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. The process isn’t about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts. It’s about holding those emotions and thoughts loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to ignite change in your life.
In EMOTIONAL AGILITY, Dr. David shares four key concepts:
- Showing Up: Instead of ignoring difficult thoughts and emotions or overemphasizing ‘positive thinking’, facing into your thoughts, emotions and behaviors willingly, with curiosity and kindness.
- Stepping Out: Detaching from, and observing your thoughts and emotions to see them for what they are—just thoughts, just emotions. Essentially, learning to see yourself as the chessboard, filled with possibilities, rather than as any one piece on the board, confined to certain preordained moves.
- Walking Your Why: Your core values provide the compass that keeps you moving in the right direction. Rather than being abstract ideas, these values are the true path to willpower, resilience and effectiveness.
- Moving On: Small deliberate tweaks to your mindset, motivation, and habits – in ways that are infused with your values, can make a powerful difference in your life. The idea is to find the balance between challenge and competence, so that you’re neither complacent nor overwhelmed. You’re excited, enthusiastic, invigorated.
Drawing on her deep research, decades of expert consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, Dr. David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. Written with authority, wit, and empathy, EMOTIONAL AGILITY serves as a roadmap for real behavioral change — a new way of acting that will help you to reincorporate your most troubling feelings as a source of energy and creativity, and live the life you want. EMOTIONAL AGILITY will help you live your most successful life whoever you are and whatever you face.”
Click here to take a free quiz that will give you personalized feedback on how to be more effective with your thoughts and emotions and please listen to this inspiring interview with Dr. Cassidy in episode 6 of “Sure, Babe“.
*All images used from drcassidymft.com.